This project first popped into my head many months ago. I was talking to my therapist about negative self talk and how the best way for me to stop myself from doing it is to think about how I would talk to a friend who was having a similar experience.
Negative self talk isn’t just limited to people with mental illness. Everyone does it. It’s the doubt that you’re not good enough, worthy enough or just enough.
My negative self talk tends to revolve around being a bad person and a burden. It’s generalized self hatred. I’ve been in this abusive relationship with myself for as long as I can remember.
My idea with this project is to embroider cute, appropriated stuffed animals with some of the things I tell myself. My hope being that I will look at them and think, “That poor adorable thing. How can it talk that way about itself?” I have stitched the first two little creatures in this project.
It has been healing in so many ways. Using mediums that I have no education in, minimal experience and am, essentially, just fumbling through has allowed me to be much more compassionate with myself when making art. When I mess up, I’m less judgmental and when I triumph it feels even better. Is this little heart wonky? Hell yes. But I sewed that thing and I feel incredibly proud.